#3 On the Convo Couch 🛋️
A whole year of talking to published authors...what were the biggest lessons?
Hello Writers 👋
So, here we are ... almost at the end of another year. A time to look back over the year that was and ponder what the year to come holds in store.
I’m sitting on my veranda as I write this, in what feels like unseasonably hot December heat (but that could be my faulty memory and busted internal thermostat), an orchestra of cicadas pulsing out their constant refrain, horses swishing their tails at annoyingly persistent flies.
I’m sitting in the midst of it all pondering what I’d like to share with you. I could write about the highs and lows of my writing year but I cover all that in the Wrap Up episode of Writes4Women which will be out on Friday December 20.
I could give you stats about the podcast listener survey, but I’ll do that in a separate space below. Instead, since this is a writing newsletter, I thought I’d share the top lessons I’ve learnt from the guests on this year’s podcast list.
I learn something from every conversation I have on Writes4Women but these were the big takeaways.
✨ Write for the Joy
This is something that has come up time and time again in my conversations on the podcast.
This time it was Hannah Richell, author of The Search Party who reminded me of the crucial importance of writing for JOY:
And I realised I'd been suddenly caught up in the idea of the business of writing and worrying about the business of writing rather than the art of writing. And actually writing The Search Party was a process of me rediscovering the art of it and the love of it too. And I think I only could have done that by being really single-minded and getting into that kind of slightly boring, slightly selfish zone where you just shut out the world and just go for it.
🙌 There’s no one way to write a book.
And every book is a different experience for the author.
As Dervla McTiernan (What Happened to Nina?) shared in her interview with Rae Cairns back in March:
Every single book has been different. I've had some very involved outlining processes at stages, and I would've talked before about, using Elizabeth George's method and which I definitely leaned heavily into for a couple of books. Over the years I've become a lot more organic with the storytelling, and I think that's confidence, a bit more sort of feeling steadier on my feet about, I know when it's right and wanting to enjoy the process a bit more too. As you get further in outlining heavily and then writing the book. I don't know.
I'm beginning to be a bit more convinced by the writers who say it can kill the fun a little bit, knowing everything in advance. And look, I've used both. I won't say that I would stand over one over the other 'cause I could just as easily go back to outlining on the next one.
✍️ Write (and read) the books you TRULY want to write.
It’s so easy to get trapped on the ‘what do the publishers want’ merry go round, and while we might be perfectly capable of writing to a plan or ticking the boxes of a particular genre, it’s when we write what is really in our heart that we have true creative success. Publishing success can be illusory and fleeting so focus on the stories that really resonate with you deep inside ... even if you do that as your side gig while writing the book the publisher wants.
Katherine Center (The Rom-Commers) explained this beautifully in her chat with Maya Linell: I've had this kind of very slow evolution that I think of as a process of de-snobification where I've let go of a lot of my early attitudes and assumptions about the relative value of different genres of fiction. And I've come to follow my own compass about what it is that I really love to read. And what I really love to read more than anything else is love stories. And the reason that I love to read them is for this very reason, this building sense of anticipation that they can create because of the sort of parameters of the genre. And slowly over time as a grownup, letting go of what I thought I was supposed to be writing and giving myself permission to write what I really wanted to write has been very freeing and very joyful. And so the more that I've done all of that, the more I've found myself talking about that with readers and book clubs, just saying, follow your own compass. Give yourself permission to read what you want to, not what you think your high school English teacher would want you to read, or what you think your next door neighbor would approve of if they saw the cover of your book. Like just, I think there are questions that we are all asking all the time deep in our psyches that we might not even have the words for. We might not even know who we're asking those questions. The books that we're drawn to help us wrestle with those questions and look around for the answers. And so trusting yourself to be your own guide, to take you to the stories that you need to read and the stories that you need to hear allows you to find stories that are really gonna resonate in a very deep, life changing way. And that those are not questions that you can ask with your head. Those are questions you have to ask with your heart.
🤫 We need to accept we all have an inner critic and practice learning how to silence it.
There’s no getting away from it, that critical voice in our head is here to stay. Elizabeth Gilbert (Big Magic) talks about putting your critic in the passenger seat and telling him/her they can come along for the ride but can’t dictate the direction. In my interview with Megan Dalla-Camina on her non-fiction release Women Rising, she explains it this way:
What is the voice in your head? Where does it come from? Sometimes you will find, oh, that voice is actually my mother, or that voice is actually that seventh grade teacher. What are the dimensions of that voice? And then what are the stories that you tell yourself? And then use the steps, to work through, to come out the other side. We are never gonna silence Erin, a critic. That is what our goal, and I think some people believe that we can make it go away. It's if you're a meditator, I'm a deep meditator. Deep meaning a deep practice, not always deep meditation. We're gonna silence our thoughts and clear our mind. Like we are not gonna do that in meditation, it may get quieter, it's not gonna stop. So that's a big part of this work around the inner critic is catch the stories that you're telling yourself. Learn to challenge those stories and interrupt the cognitive dissonance and then get to the reframe so that you can take the action that you wanna take.
That's the guts of the inner critic work. And it does get better. Like I used to, my inner critic used to be at least scream at me like all day, every day. So loud, so negative, so harsh. And over the last, I would say 12 years , doing this work, evolutions of this work that I teach and write about my inner critic is very quiet.
And now when I hear it, it's very clear,
We know what it is and I know exactly what to do about it. So like it does get quieter.
🥳 We have to back ourselves and champion our writing.
This is something many of us – particularly women- find difficult. We don’t want to be seen as vain or big-noting ourselves in case we are judged or criticised. But if we don’t put ourselves and our books out there who else is going to do it? We have to believe in what we are writing, and believe there are readers out there who will resonate with our words and stories.
Sandy Barker (Someone Like You) shared her experience of coming to terms with this revelation in our chat:
I had early interest from an agent in Australia called Brian Cook.He was just lovely, signed me for a year and he just couldn't sell my book. And so I just stuck it in the drawer and, forgot about the dream. And we went to see the film Lala Land, which, I actually blogged about it. I think the title blog post was ‘Lala Land Made Me Do It.’
And we're watching this film and it was so powerful. I was sobbing all the way home on the tram. And poor Ben, I'm just like, I just need to be, I just need to be alone. And it just made me realize that no one was gonna knock on my door and say ‘Hi. Do you have an unpublished manuscript sitting in a drawer somewhere? I'd like to see it.’ And that I had to back myself, because when I was working on that book from 2013, 2014 onwards for two or three years I, and that dream was reignited. It was like, I definitely want to be an author. Like I, I can see this as my full-time job. But I'd given up on my dream and I hadn't even really tried. So that really was a formative moment for me. It just really sparked that passion, reignited that passion. And it made me realize, if you're going to do this, you need to be tenacious, you need to keep working on your craft. You need to keep honing that manuscript and you need to get it out there.
But I just kept pushing it to the background, pushing it to the background, and my first book wasn't published until I was 50.
As I mentioned, there are plenty of other take-aways I could share but these ones really resonated ... and if I shared them all here you wouldn’t need to listen to the podcast!
I hope these and many of the other tips our guests have shared over the year have struck a chord with you. We’d love to hear about your favourite episodes or advice from the pod so be sure to send them through. And don’t forget if you missed any episodes the whole backlist is available on your favourite podcast platform and at writes4women.com
I’ll be sending out my more book related newsletter in the next few days so if you’d like to be added to that mailing list you’ll find the sign up link at the bottom of my homepage here.
🎧 Annual Listener Survey Results
A huge shout out to all those who completed our listener survey. We really appreciate you taking the time to complete the survey. Here is a summary of the results:
Most respondents listen to most of the episodes and ALL of those listen to the full ep
The most popular reasons for listening to the podcast are: featured guest, the topic, writing advice
Most listeners like the one-hour length but a few would prefer shorter eps
A majority of the respondents would prefer fortnightly episodes with occasional episodes on specific writing topics
Topics you want more of: writing tips, commercial fiction, publishing industry tips, daily life of a writer, balancing different stages of the writing life, debut author experiences, indie author life, agents and editors
Guest /Topic suggestions: Nicky Pellgrino, writers from different genres, Tess Woods, programs and resources for writers, dates of book events and festivals
If you didn’t get to complete the survey we’d still love to hear your suggestions so please be sure to email us at w4wpodcast@gmail.com
And the winner of the double book pack is Jemma Bayliss! Congrats Jemma, a copy of A Country Farm Christmas and Mary Christmas is coming your way.
📈 Are you ready to turn up the tension?
Have you got a manuscript you’ve been working on, but you know it needs ‘tuning up’?
Would you like to keep readers up late turning the pages to get to ‘the end’?
Would you like to hone your writing skills across a whole range of areas – characterisation, plot, structure, scene writing, tension and dialogue?
Turn Up the Tension is an 8 module online writing course that will help with all of the above. Work through the modules at your own pace and have lifetime access so you can come back and revisit the course at any time.
With examples from published authors across a range of genres, and over thirty hours of course material (if you choose to dive deep into every exercise) this course has been drastically reduced until December 31.
Take advantage of this one-time offer and treat yourself to any early Christmas present.
📝 Is it time for your next chapter?
Join me in Kurrajong, at the serene foothills of the Blue Mountains, where creativity meets tranquillity, and dreams of literary excellence come to life. This unique 3 Day writing retreat is meticulously designed to elevate your craft, and guide you towards publication.
We’ll cover openings, characters, plot & setting along with adding tension, deepening emotion and workshopping our blurbs.
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Places are limited to 12 people so if you’d like to join us don’t delay!
For further information or to register for the 2025 retreat click here.
🙏 A few thank yous…
I wouldn’t have made it through the year in one piece without the help of my wonderful VA, Annie Bucknall. Annie creates all the fabulous reels you see each week on the Writes4Women socials, as well as the transcripts and Substack newsletters. I happen to know Annie has a few spots available so if you’re an author or business person looking for either short or long tern help with your social media or website be sure to contact Annie at Well Creative Services.
A massive shout out to my fabulous guest hosts who picked up the slack and provided brilliant new perspectives on Writes4Women. In no particular order, but with enormous thanks to all:
Mary-Lou Stephens
Jo Riccioni
Rae Cairns
Rachael Johns
Laura Boon
Maya Linnell
Anne Freeman
Meredith Jaffé
From the bottom of my heart, a huge thank you to everyone who has listened to Writes4Women this year, to those who have jumped onboard the Substack train with us and to all who have shared a social post or written a review or rated the podcast ... without your continued support there would be no reason to keep going.
However you celebrate (or not) at this time of the year, we hope you have relaxing break with plenty of great reading material and an abundance of time to daydream.
We’ll see you in 2025.
Pam and Annie